BEING A MOTHER: LESSONS MY CHILDREN HAVE TAUGHT ME

When we have children, we don’t expect to learn from them. We teach them how to walk, talk, dress, and eat. Our job is also to teach them manners, being kind to others, and many other social graces. When they are little, it is rare to think about the really hard lessons such as why there is evil in the world, why people are mean to one another, what makes a person hate, and how to deal with losing loved ones. But as I ponder what lessons my children have taught me I become painfully aware of my shortcomings. 

As parents we are so busy with raising our children and teaching them all we think they need to know. I personally didn’t contemplate what they were teaching me until recently. On this Mother’s Day, I will share with you the lessons my children have taught me through the years.

Recently a dear friend remarked how incredibly calm I am with Jack-Jack. It got me to thinking about patience. Thirty years ago I was not a patient mom, and that’s when it hit me – I have not been patient with my children. God has used Jack-Jack to teach me patience. But I have also realized that God has used all of my children to mold me into the person I am today.

Lessons My Children Have Taught Me:

I started to consider how each child has helped me grow. This is the list I compiled of the lessons my children have taught me:

Children are born with a natural bent:

Jeffrey, my oldest son, has always been wiser and much older than his actual age. He talked incredibly early, but more importantly, he inherently understood the English language and the meaning of words. Not only did he talk in complete sentences at 18 months, he also spoke clearly. As he aged, he became a walking dictionary. He studied Latin in high school and in college, worked in college as a grad assistant translating an ancient Latin document, and read book after book furthering his language skills. Jeffrey has taught me that children have a bent, and they are born with natural talents and abilities. As parents, we are to help hone those talents so they can be used to further the Kingdom of God. 

God has a plan for your life:

David, my second son, had an asthmatic cough as a baby. He would bark so hard through the night that it kept me awake. When I took him to the doctor, she would say that besides a cough, there was nothing wrong. But people would stop me in the grocery store to tell me I needed to get my son help. He was eventually given a prescription nasal spray, which lessened the cough, but did nothing for the exercise induced breathing problems. His lung capacity was always diminished, and my husband and I discouraged him from trying out for a travel soccer team.

One fall, as I watched him run across the soccer field, I was shocked at how well he seemed to be doing. He later told me that he had begun to run a little further every day, and finally built up his lung capacity so he could be competitive in soccer.

Today, he doesn’t have problems liked he once did. As an adult, he continues to referee soccer games. David taught me that one can overcome even physical problems when the person is properly motivated. His determination and zest for life is an inspiration to me. Even today as an adult he shows me that he is able to achieve more because he knows there is a greater plan for his life.

Live Life with Enthusiasm:

Melissa is my only daughter. She has taught me more about myself than I can even begin to write on paper. She was full of life and would not be stopped from the moment she emerged from the womb. I vividly remember looking at her at 2, 3, and 4  years old and having the first of many epiphanies. She was not heavy, but she had fat on her hips and thighs that at her age didn’t make sense. Her activity level was off the charts, but it was obvious that genetics had come into play with her body build. It was at this time, that I began to accept that I could not rework my body, no matter how I tried. At thirty-something, I realized that God made me uniquely me, and I needed to welcome that. The most important thing that Melissa has taught me is to embrace life! She has such a flair and displays her God approved uniqueness with enthusiasm. 

I remember that I was like that once, before I allowed society, family members and friends to define me. Finally I am beginning to throw off the masks of who I should be, and I am becoming who I was meant to be. Society cannot limit me. If I want I can wear yellow, red and blue together; Snow White does and everyone loves her!

Grace, Mercy and Forgiveness:

Marcus is 15 and is somewhat of an enigma. He is blunt and unfiltered and yet he is an introvert. This young man is quiet and reserved, but can be outgoing and noisy. He knows how to have fun, and yet is moody and sullen. Time spent with him has me laughing, and yet he can make me cry just as easily. Marcus is sensitive and strong. He allows me to see his vulnerabilities and has taught me that sometimes people appear to be stubborn and unyielding to cover fear and hurt. Marcus has a unique taste in food and culture which has given me a view of people I wouldn’t have on my own. He has shown me grace and mercy and has taught me to forgive myself.

Joy and Patience are from the Lord:

And lastly Jack-Jack. My youngest son is autistic. When he was little I cried a lot. Life was difficult on an hourly basis. In fact, I wish I could go back and tell myself to calm down a little – okay, a lot. (Read 10 Things I Wish I Could Tell My Younger Self).

But Jack-Jack has taught me patience. God knew what I needed and gave me Jack-Jack to master it. I was never a patient person and feel that I failed my 4 other children by being too impatient and demanding with them. My job was to model self-control, but I didn’t understand that. But with Jack-Jack if I lost my temper both of us would end up in tears. Neither one of us were helped by me getting upset.

I remember the day that God spoke to me and said, “Wrap your arms around him and love him where he’s at because love conquers all.” [bctt tweet=”When you hear the voice of God, you should listen, and I have allowed God to grant me great patience with my youngest son. Love is patient; Love is Kind. These are God’s words.” username=”pattyoh11″]

There is not an option in God’s word to be impatient and unkind. I fail at times, but I pick myself up and strive to be calm. God is using Jack-Jack to teach me daily to rely on Him. Through the lesson of love and patience God has blessed me with a joy I didn’t know was possible.

And so on this Mother’s Day, I want to take this time to thank my children for the lessons they have taught me. What lessons has God taught you through your children? I would love to hear from you. Drop me a comment below.

Thanks for following along,

Patty @ A Mother’s Random Thoughts

Psalm 127:3-4

Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. 

For More Like This: The Prayers of a Homeschool Mom