AUTISM OBSESSIONS: Turning Obsessions into Passion

How can you figure out what your child’s passion really is? And can autism obsessions be turned into a passion that helps you reach your child? Years ago, I came across Ron Suskind’s book, Life, Animated, which is about his journey to reach his son through his son’s passion for Disney movies. His message and how they reached their son really resonated with me. So much in fact, that I was probably already looking for this method as an option because I knew in my heart it was the right way. 

Reaching My Son Through His Autism Obsessions

In a previous post, I referenced my son’s “superpower” as being cute. However, that was an oversimplification. Jack-Jack has a love of Disney and can actually memorize lines from Disney movies incredibly fast.  But before he was talking well (or talking at all) we didn’t know anything about how to reach him using his love and passion for Disney and movies. We didn’t know that we could use these movies to teach him. We just knew he loved watching movies.

He particularly loved Toy Story and all the characters, but he really loved Mr. Potato Head. How did we find out what his passion really was? We watched, we listened and we stumbled upon it.

Autism Obsessions – WATCH HOW YOUR CHILD PLAYS

WHAT DOES HE/SHE PLAY WITH? DOES HE HAVE FAVORITE TOYS? WHAT DOES SHE SEEM OBSESSED WITH?  We watched how Jack-Jack played and what he played with. His favorite toys all pointed to toys in movies. He had a fascination with nutcrackers. This obsession came from the movie Flushed Away. The Nutcracker in the movie is in one split second scene. This tipped us off that he really is a detail person. In fact, his attention to detail extends to the toys themselves. If a “Kid’s Meal” toy didn’t look like the movie original, there was a big problem. Case in point below.

WHAT UPSETS YOUR CHILD? LOOK TO WHAT THE HEART OF THAT ANGER IS?

The other thing that we noticed was what he got the most upset about. He seemed to be really agitated if things weren’t exactly how they were supposed to be. Remember the nutcracker from above? Originally we thought he just wanted to collect nutcrackers. If I was in a store that sold nutcrackers, he wanted to touch and look at every single one. I am not talking about every single style – I mean every single nutcracker. He always picked one out to take home. And then he would want to watch the movie Flushed Away. Eventually, we found out that he didn’t want to own every single nutcracker. He was looking for one closest to the one in the movie. We never did find one like it, but then he became content to have us draw one like the one in the movie.

We found the same thing with Mr. Potato Head from Toy Story. We thought he just wanted to collect Mr. Potato Head’s and he really was just trying to create the “actual” Toy Story Potato Head and even the boxed “Toy Story Mr. Potato Heads” weren’t accurate.

LISTEN TO THE WORDS THEY SAY. IF NON-VERBAL, WATCH THE GESTURES.

Jack-Jack kept taking his older brothers hand and asking to go outside. He would say “dragon” and “bridge” but those had no meaning for us. And he always wanted to walk in the woods to look for the dragon and the bridge. The taking of his brother’s hand and the dragon and bridge were a daily occurrence. Eventually we “stumbled upon” what the dragon and the bridge really meant. And the walk towards the woods was in a southern direction.

Look for Clues

Jack-Jack would love to go for rides in the car. We never knew why. He was great with directions and always wanted to turn certain ways and would get agitated if we didn’t go the right way. We always drove to Florida on vacation. Walt Disney World is south from where we live. Eventually, we figured out that he understood directions and wanted to drive south. It didn’t matter if we were at home or at the mall or at a restaurant 2 towns over. When we got in the car, he wanted us to drive south. This was a big clue to figuring him out. The dragon and the bridge were the topiary by Cinderella Castle at Walt Disney World.

BEING PRESENT

I am Jack-Jack’s primary caretaker and I homeschool. If I had not been present or he had been in school all day, we may never have stumbled upon these things. Because I was with him, watching, talking (even when he didn’t talk back), and playing detective, we may not have unlocked the secret to who Jack-Jack is and what makes him tick. Even if you can’t be with your child all the time, you can play detective and find out what they are trying to communicate to you. Instead of getting frustrated that you don’t understand, look at things from the perspective of a game. Let your child know that you are trying to figure out what he/she wants.

THE POWER OF PLAY

I believe in the power of play. We allowed Jack-Jack to play with his obsessions, watched that play, and talked to him about those things. Many people will tell you to refocus your child on something else, or bring them back to what they “need to be working on.” We got into his autism obsession and helped him bring his enthusiasm into our world. This helped us connect with him.

We eventually found the correct Mr. Potato Head parts and made the little boy extremely happy, but Jack-Jack no longer plays with Mr. Potato Head on a daily basis. He no longer wants every nutcracker in a store. He still looks at nutcrackers when we see them. But he has developed other interests, but most of those interests still stem from things he sees in movies. He wants a “real Lumiere” with real candles. He has asked for a “Mrs. Potts” and “Chip” set.

OTHER THINGS THAT HELPED US FIGURE OUT JACK-JACK’S AUTISM OBSESSIONS

I held him a lot and talked to him about what I was feeling. 

We refused to use a weighted vest and instead wrapped my arms around him and held on tight.

I never quit talking.

We prayed over him, for him and with him.

I forgave myself for my shortcomings and quit blaming myself for his autism.

I quit thinking others were blaming me.

Once you stop worrying about what others think you can begin to focus on your child. When Jack-Jack was having a meltdown in public, I didn’t see other people staring or talking because I focused on him.

Until you get into a good place yourself, you are no help to yourself or anyone else in your family. If you are in a state of blame, either yourself, your significant other, your child, or even God, you cannot begin to work on helping your child. If you’re an in an unhealthy mindset, I urge you to find help for yourself. Only then can you begin to help unlock your child’s passions.