GET MORE DONE BY SETTING BOUNDARIES: Finding Balance between Work, Homeschool, Family and Life

Do you ever feel like you have 100 plates spinning in the air and the moment you look away, it they will all come crashing to the ground? THIS.IS.ME!!!! On a daily basis. I never feel as if I accomplish enough. If I never went to sleep and kept working, I don’t think I would ever catch up. I have been trying to find a balance between work, homeschooling, family, and life forever. And then I realized I can get more done by setting boundaries.

I always feel myself being behind in some area of my life. I tell myself that I just have to work smarter because my time is limited, but even clearing away distractions and keeping focused on the task at hand doesn’t seem to shrink my to-do list.

Have you gone on a cutting spree to find balance? Anything that is a time waster was cut, as well as anything that didn’t bring me joy. I cut out committees I was on and eliminated household chores (but that only means the house gets messy and then I have a visual reminder that I have failed in one area). I tried to streamline tasks so I don’t double up on trips. All visits to one side of town were grouped together, but somehow grocery shopping after the chiropractor just seems to make my back worse, and going to the chiropractor first makes the ice cream melt.

Many people suggest time blocks. Guess what? That didn’t work either. Setting aside 4 hours today for work, and 2 hours for errands and 3 hours for schooling the kids sounds like it would work, but at the end of the 2 hour errand time, you still didn’t get grocery shopping done you can’t just look at your kids and say, “We have no food and my time blocking doesn’t allow for shopping until next week.” (Grocery delivery doesn’t exist in my area either!)

Finding Balance by Setting Boundaries:

So how do I find balance? The sad reality is that balance is hard to achieve, but what does work is setting boundaries. And this is how I have begun to set boundaries.

1. I stopped comparing myself: As a working homeschooling mom, that is also the primary caregiver of an autism kiddo, I cannot compare myself to a working mom whose kids are in school. It isn’t fair to me or to my children. I have less working hours in the day then the mom with kids in school. 
2. Being intentional: I make a list of activities that I want to be participating in. I know some moms are always on the go. This does not work for my life. I need to get school done, work done, and find time to relax. As a mom living with an autoimmune disease, if I burn the candle at both ends I end up sick. So deciding what I want to participate in is important. I constantly get asked if I am going to the next blogging or social media conference, and I have to say no to most of them. I am intentional in my selections.
3. Learning to say no to volunteer activities: I used to say yes to everything that was good activities and opportunities. Now I have a couple organizations that I volunteer with/for, and that is it. I cannot add more without taking away something else.
4. Decluttering: I am not a hoarder (unless you are talking about books), but I tend to allow things to accumulate to the point that it overtakes the house. I am working on dealing with things when new items come in the house. You see my house is like a Tupperware container. There is only so much room in the container, and once the container is full, it will not hold more. Here are a series of questions I ask myself; I am going to use a book as an example: A) Do I need this or can I get it from the library? If I need to buy it, I will decide when I am done reading it if I want to keep it. B) Do I have room for this item? If not, then I need to make immediate room on a shelf. C) If I am making room for this book, what book am I willing to give up in its place? If I am not willing to give up a book then this book needs to go.  This concept has reduced stress in my life. 
5. Today is a special occasion:  This sounds like it is not a boundary, but it really is. According to Wikipedia: “Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards them and how they will respond when someone passes those limits.” I have set personal boundaries for how I am behaving toward myself and my family. I am beginning to use those items I used to save for “special occasions.” There are mugs in my cupboard that I saved. I have begun to use those things. If I am not using them, I am getting rid of them, but I am allowing myself to experience special occasions every day in some way. This is a game changer. It is changing the way I look at myself, my house, and my family. This one change has allowed me to speak life every day over my household because today is special!
6. Learning that I am not the only one: This has been the absolute hardest thing for me to learn. I thought I was the only one that could make supper (or that I had to make supper). Blue Apron absolutely saved my life. I don’t order them every week, but when I know I will have a busy week ahead, I order them and my husband and son can make these meals easily. Repeat after me: I am not the only one in the house that can (insert something you need to allow others to help with). 
7. Accepting defeat: “When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal.” ― Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich. Instead of wallowing in defeat, accept it, move on quickly and go to plan B. I used to spend too much of my life wallowing in misery because I didn’t accomplish something. I am learning to move on.
8. Setting boundaries in my own head by thinking less of myself: I do not have to keep the world spinning. I just have to do me in my corner of the world by keeping a perspective on what I need to do and my importance in the big scheme of things. (By the way, God keeps the world spinning and that is a big relief. And if I make time to worship the one who keeps the world spinning, I end up finding more balance).

Are you a homeschooling/working mom? How are you setting boundaries to accomplish more and reduce stress in your life? Do you need to find some focus for your life? I would love to hear from you!