WHAT IS THE SECRET TO HOMESCHOOLING SUCCESSFULLY?

When people ask me about homeschool curriculum, there are books I recommend, but success isn’t because of a curriculum you use. I believe that curriculum is a piece of the homeschooling puzzle, however, my philosophy about raising and teaching children is so much more than what curriculum I am using. There are some secrets of homeschooling success that I have learned through the years. First, I want to teach my children to love the Lord, to love their fellow man, and to love learning, and that doesn’t come in a box or a program. That comes from the heart. That comes from being around people who model those traits.


But first, let me introduce myself! My name is Patty. I am a 55 year old woman who is entering her 26th year of homeschooling. I started homeschooling my oldest son in first grade. Back in those olden days (1994) people didn’t count the years before Kindergarten or First grade. I taught my son for preschool, but I didn’t count that as homeschooling because lots and lots of people had their children at home. We were just raising our toddlers/preschoolers because reading when you started Kindergarten wasn’t expected.

JACK-JACK is 11 and has autism. Him feeding the giraffe is huge. He is afraid of almost all animals!

Three of my five children have graduated and are in the workforce. All three of them are people that I am proud of. I am more than blessed that I got to spend time raising them and watching them grow into adults. My oldest son is an attorney, married and has 3 children. My second son is an insurance salesman and is married with 2 children. My only daughter is right in the middle of the pack.

She is my funny, creative, independent, “I do it myself” girl. From the time she emerged into the world, she had her own way of doing things. She challenged everything I knew about children. Melissa is spunky, hands on her hip, set the world on fire girl. She is a passionate photographer, loves children and loves life.

Someone that knows her asked her about homeschooling, and what she thought about it. Because quite frankly, I can say that homeschooling is wonderful, but what my children believe about it matters more. At the end of the day, homeschooling is not about you or what you want for your children, but about raising them to love God and follow His path for their lives.

So when asked about what she thought about homeschooling, and if she thought it was a positive experience, here was her response: 

|WHY?|
I had a friend ask me recently what I felt about being homeschooled. My response was, “It’s the thing I am most thankful to my parents for.” And although I feel that way, it got me thinking about why!

 What are the reasons I feel that way? How has their decision to keep me and my brothers home impacted my life? Did I really turn out different than if they had sent me to school?

|FINDING MY PASSION|
Being homeschooled allowed me to do things and learn about topics I was passionate about. My mom took my strengths and helped cultivate them. She saw me for who I was, and who I would become and never focused on who I wasn’t. I never felt judged, stupid, incompetent or unable to learn. I was given the right environment to be molded into who I am today – and the skills to continue to develop into who I will become.
|I DON’T KNOW THE ANSWER| 
When I couldn’t do something or a subject didn’t click we put it down for the day, or week or even that school year. Something I was blessed with is a mom that understands that forcing things on a child doesn’t make them learn or grow. I would have never gotten that in the school system.
I would have gone to math class and constantly felt defeated. I would have taken my history test and forgotten when the Declaration of Independence was signed, (because it took me until way later than it should have to remember this) and left feeling dumb. My fill in the elements periodic table would have remained mostly blank because memorization is not how I learn…or how most children learn for that matter.
|LEARNING HOW I LEARN|
The combination of my learning style (mostly visual) and my personality type would have made for a miserable kid. I am naturally a people pleaser. I will stretch myself to my very limit to do things the right way, or even beyond what is expected. If I had attended school I can guarantee I would have had amazing grades – but my life would have been dictated by assignments and studying. I would have worked myself endlessly to remember that periodic table or when the Declaration was signed. But I’m pretty sure if I had been doing those things I wouldn’t have the time or energy left to work on the things I am good at – the talents God has blessed me with.
|WHO WOULD I BE?|
What I wouldn’t have learned had I gone to school is how to be a confident, hard working, independent member of society. I wouldn’t have the job that I love, because I would have been encouraged to focus on success – and not on my skills and passions. Had I gone to school, I feel that I would actually be farther behind in life right now. It makes me wonder who I would be…
I’m not saying that you can’t be a successful member of society if you attended school. But I know for me that wouldn’t have worked. I also know that it unfortunately doesn’t work for many children that are in the system.
|LET THEM BE LITTLE|
Kids are meant to run, explore, play and laugh! They learn from their environment and from observing others. Children absorb information from watching mommy and daddy interact and do life. They don’t learn from being forced to sit still, read 50 sight words at the age of 5, or interact with 18 other uneducated 5 year olds and be stuck in a room for hours at a time.
My mom always used the example of sending your brand new puppy off to obedience training on a bus with other untrained puppies. More than likely instead of coming back well-trained, you would wind up with a puppy that picked up bad behaviors.
Young children aren’t far off from puppies. They haven’t yet been trained to navigate their environment or how to handle daily situations. Why? Because they aren’t mentally or emotionally ready to do that yet! Kids should have someone to look out for them, pick them up when they fall down, reassure them when they feel scared, and show them unconditional love when they feel insecure.
|WANTED+LOVED+LEARNING|
There are 3 things that stand out the most from my school aged years that have carried me into adulthood – and are things I hope to instill in my children one day. The feeling of being wanted+loved – and to have a desire for learning. Never once have a questioned if I am truly loved. Never once did I hear the words, “I can’t wait for summer break to be over so I can have time without my kids.” I was told the exact opposite. Through my parents actions to keep me home, and through the words they chose to speak to me – I always knew that I was wanted+loved!
The love for learning that burns inside of me came from my momma. That lady loves knowledge and reading – and now so do I! The more I read, the more I want to know. And the more I know, the more I long to learn about. She taught me that learning doesn’t happen during “school hours,” but that I could learn through every activity, event, interaction or person that I came in contact with. These three life lessons are ones that I can assure you I would have NEVER gotten had my schooling been different. And they are three lessons that to me – are PRICELESS
|THEY GROW UP SO FAST|
Parents, if you are feeling unsure of sending your child/children to school, I encourage you to bring them home! I can promise you that it will be the best decision you make for your family. Your children will be 18 years old and off on their own in no time. Do you want those 18 very short years that they have to be molded to be done so by dozens of different people? Teachers that have different viewpoints and beliefs than you do? But more importantly do you want to lose the very short time you’ve been entrusted to care for your children to an education system modeled to create a one mold fits all adult? Again, I am in no way bashing teachers or anyone who sends their child to school. What I am saying is that if you have considered homeschooling there is a reason! God has put that little thought in your mind, tug on your heart or maybe even a very large billboard in your view to get your attention.
If this is you I am describing, I want you to look over at your sweet little ones and watch how they play, laugh, LEARN, and grow. I want you to know that they are watching YOU – even as you are reading this post.
I want you to know that you are capable and God WILL give you the patience you need to teach them. Please hear me when I say that your children will thank you for bringing them home. They will love the extra snuggles they got in the morning, and the special snack mommy made in the afternoon. They will remember last minute plans to go to the zoo as a “field trip” with the whole family and taking a “we’ll do it later day,” since they never got snow days. They will one day wake up and realize how much they appreciated all that you sacrificed to be able to keep them with you.
They will learn what you never could have taught from a book, lesson, field trip or co-op – they will learn that they were always WANTED+LOVED! – Melissa
SO WHAT ARE MY HOMESCHOOLING SECRETS? And WHAT matters more than any curriculum, and any system of teaching? If you instill the love of learning into your children, and they know they are wanted and loved, they will find delight in the world around them. And then they will conquer the world!
Check out Homeschooling Books for Parents – my favorite resources that helped guide me through the years.

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8 thoughts on “The Secret to Homeschooling Success: A Former Student Weighs In”

  1. Susan LeBlanc

    What a fantastic post to read at such a critical time in our lives.
    I half pulled my child from school due to bad behaviours of other children and a lack of understanding of the psychological difficulties my little guy is having with the idea of going back to school.
    We are currently doing a cooperative schooling situation with me homeschooling part time and him going to the school the other days. I have been struggling with sending him on the “school” days and have been seeking Gods advice on what to do…. and there it was, in the form of this post. God has used you as my guide.
    Thank you to you both
    I love your post and your daughters perspective. and I especially love the puppy analogy

    Gratefully Yours
    Sue

    Reply
    1. [email protected]

      Thank you so much for sharing! Sometimes I wonder if I have a positive impact on anyone, and then someone leaves an encouraging comment and I know that I am doing what God has called me to do. Please follow along on Facebook and keep in touch!

      Reply
  2. Kay

    This nearly made me cry! So encouraging for me after recently being pressured to send them to school. I LOVE my kids at home with me. I love watching them learn. I love their sweet, funny personalities. Thanks for this great perspective, both of you.

    Reply
    1. [email protected]

      Thank you for the encouraging words. I have loved having my children with me too.
      This week I watched a negative post about homeschool and socialization go viral. Why can’t we have positive posts go viral? Why does everyone share the bad news and not the good?

      Reply
  3. Kassy

    This article is exactly what I needed to hear. I will officially be starting homeschool with my son this year, and it’s a terrifying thought at times, but everything mentioned here is why I have always known I wanted to homeschool. I loved hearing your daughter’s perspective on it.

    Reply
    1. [email protected]

      Thank you. It is always wonderful to hear from someone starting out. Are there any questions I can answer for you.

      Reply
  5. Maple Dappa

    This is insightful! Thanks for sharing. I look forward to the upcoming post on home schooling books. Please include places we can find them to buy. Some of us here in Nigeria are considering the option of home schooling.

    Reply

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