ARE YOU GUILTY OF HURTING YOUR CHILD WITHOUT REALIZING IT?
This post contains affiliate links. Jack-Jack is 11 and has autism. There are things about Jack-Jack you should know. Maybe, just maybe, knowing Jack-Jack will help you understand your own child. You see, there are things I didn’t know, and I wish someone could have told me. Are you guilty of hurting your child without realizing it? I would have said no before today.
Jack-Jack forgets. Some days he can’t remember words he knows he should know, and he will say, “help me find the word.” Jack-Jack knows he doesn’t always remember. Before he could verbally let us know he couldn’t remember a word, he would ask, “What’s wrong with me?” And I would answer truthfully, “Your brain works differently.” Other days, he is as sharp as a tack. In the morning, you don’t know which Jack-Jack will show up. There are certainly ways to help him improve such as diet, sleep, and sunshine (sadly lacking in our part of the world).
Jack-Jack hates when people yell, talk in an agitated manner, or use “their angry eyes” (like Mr. Potato Head). He even hates when his dad and I talk “business” because we have a different tone, and he interprets those tones as anger.
DON’T BE MAD AT ME MOM!
Today, Jack-Jack and I were reading “The Big Snow” by Berta and Elmer Hader. There are a variety of woodland animals, and on each page, I would ask him to name the animals, and he would answer. When I got to the page with the squirrel, Jack-Jack could not answer, and when he can’t answer, he mumbles. I told him the animal started with an S; he answered skunk. But he knew skunk was wrong. And then with the saddest little boy eyes, he looked up at me and said, “I can’t remember Mom. Don’t be mad at me.”
At that moment I knew he was remembering a different day.
My heart sunk. Not because he couldn’t remember, but because I remember vividly. And I was hoping he wouldn’t remember that day. I remember a little 22-month-old bright-eyed boy who couldn’t remember the word squirrel, but I didn’t know that. I thought he was being stubborn. You see, at that point there was no indication there was anything wrong with Jack-Jack besides being slow to talk. The day before he had said squirrel. I knew he knew the word. But this particular day, I believed he was being difficult. AND I used my angry eyes and a frustrated tone.
So when Jack-Jack said today, “Don’t Be Mad,” I knew he was remembering back to that day when he was a tiny little boy, and couldn’t say squirrel. I know that for as much as he forgets, he remembers far more. He remembers his mommy’s “angry eyes” that day. He remembers my tone and not the words that I said.
SO Are you guilty of hurting your child without realizing it?
You may not have an autistic child, but Jack-Jack and your child are not so different. Jack-Jack reacts strongly to certain things. Your child may not have an outburst like Jack-Jack, but all children crave approval from their moms. And to all children, your eyes and tone speak much more than the words you say. My momma’s heart is begging and pleading with you to put on your “happy eyes,” and your “happy voice,” because children do remember even if they can’t tell you!
It isn’t always this emotional; sometimes we laugh too! Read about the Funny Side of Autism Here.
Reviewing movies for parents from a Christian perspective since 2005. Know Before You Go!
Christian Homeschooling mom – 30 years and counting
Autism Mom & Disney enthusiast
Thanks for stopping by! Yes, children are great gifts!
Thanks for sharing. Kids are wonderful treasures.