How to Navigate A Dental Visit with Autism

Our dental journey has been long and treacherous. We went from having a little happy child to one that didn’t trust us and didn’t trust doctors. Life was not easy. It was hard – extremely hard. And because we had lost our son’s trust, so many other things became difficult such as washing his hair, hair cuts, and more. You can read about autism and the dentist’s trauma here!

Trauma at the Pediatric Dentist Office with Autism

So for many, many years, Jack-Jack screamed at the mention of dentists, doctors or blood. All because of the trauma experienced at the hands of pediatric dentists and doctors. These were professionals that should have known better, but they had no patience or just lacked bedside manner.

So finding a dentist to deal with the autism and Jack-Jack required more than just going to the dentist and letting him adjust to someone new treating him. Managing his stress levels was one of the first things we had to do before we could even consider a dental visit and understanding what causes autism meltdowns is an important factor before moving forward.

Our Journey to Find a Good Autism Dentist

My dentist refused to see him. I had several friends give me recommendations for their dentists, and when I called I was told that they weren’t taking new patients. This may have actually been the case, but I suspect they actually meant to say, “we aren’t taking new autism patients.”

I get it. I really do. Who wants to take on a new patient that may bite, hit or scream? Who wants to spend extra time on a patient when time = money? If I were in their shoes, I might be bypassing the “new special” patient too.

Fast forward to now. Jack-Jack is now a teen, and he has gone to the doctor a few times, and even successfully navigated a visit to the Emergency Room with an abscess on his leg. We have avoided most visits because Jack-Jack rarely gets sick, but when he does, it escalates into something ugly very fast.

Last year, I had to switch dentists for myself and my older son. Our new dentist was not actually new to us. He had been my dentist 30 years earlier, but to save time and driving distance, I had switched to a closer dentist. I knew that he was incredibly patient and kind, so I brought Jack-Jack to Marcus’ appointment.

Our First Appointment with the Dentist

At the appointment, the dentist left the waiting room door open and allowed Jack-Jack to walk into the exam room. He would periodically walk in and “check out” what was going on. Jack-Jack would occasionally ask a question, and Dr. B extended the same kindness and care he shows everyone.

After a few visits with Marcus or me as the patient, Jack-Jack was ready to try his hand at being in the chair. He not only allowed the dentist to look at his teeth, which was the only thing that was scheduled for the day, but he also allowed the dentist to take x-rays and clean his teeth.

Check out 15 Tips to Ease Your Child’s Fear of the Doctor

The video below shows snippets of the appointment. Additionally, it shows how the dentist interacted with my son.

Tips for Taking Your Autistic Child to the Dentist

1. Before visiting the dentist with your child preview videos of other children at the dentist.
2. Can you get your child to open their mouth? Is your child brushing their teeth? These may be skills you want to work on before going to the dentist.
3. Practice counting teeth at home. Allow your child to count your teeth.
4. Make sure your dentist is a kind person. Most people will recommend a pediatric dentist, but for us finding someone who is patient and kind was our top priority.
5. See if your dentist is open to you bringing your autistic child in for a “pre-meeting.”
6. Another great tip for visiting the dentist with your child with autism is to have your child come and watch you or another one of your children get your teeth cleaned. Make sure your dentist is open to this.
7. Stay close by and hold your child’s hand.
8. Make sure your dentist knows that even if your child isn’t speaking, they can understand what is being said.
9. Gradually ease your child into a full visit. The first several (or dozens) of times your child may just sit in the chair without opening their mouth, or open their mouth without letting the dentist look inside. This is okay.
10. Enjoy the time spent at the dentist even it if doesn’t go as planned. Avoid being upset or anxious. Do not apologize to the dentist for your child’s behavior. This sends a message to your child that they were “bad.”

While visiting the dentist can be traumatic for everyone involved, a gentle approach goes a long way to enabling your child with autism to achieve a level of comfort.