Social Interactions and Connecting With Others

Connecting with others may not come easily to your little one, but as a parent, you have to be there to fight for them, and one of the best ways you can do that is by helping them connect. Here are some tips to help your autistic child make friends with others:

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1. Embrace Their View of the World

Step one: recognize that your child’s perspective isn’t “wrong,” it’s just different. It is a good idea to adjust your thinking when it comes to your child. If a typical child might say, “Hey, let’s play tag!” and your autistic child says, “Why would we run around in circles when there’s a perfectly good LEGO set right here?”—it’s not that one is better. Learn your child’s interests and passions. Rather than forcing them into “normal” group activities, allow them to engage in ways that match their likes and comfort levels. Sometimes, that means your living room ends up looking like a museum dedicated to trains, but hey, at least they’re having fun and learning.

2. The Social Skills Starter Pack

Social skills aren’t always something that come naturally, especially for kids on the spectrum. Practice social habits in bite-sized chunks—like learning how to say “hello,” offering a compliment, or maintaining eye contact for as long as they comfortably can (without feeling like they’re being stared down by a hungry T-Rex). Simple role-playing at home can make a world of difference before they get into social situations outside the house. If they’re into superheroes, for instance, pretend they’re Captain “Conversation” and you’re “Dr. Talk Too Much.” You might end up feeling a bit silly, but trust me, silly can be a great teacher.

3. Practice Identifying Facial Expressions and Body Language and Modeling The Same

It is essential if your child is going to have social interaction with others that they learn how to identify facial expressions and body language. I have personally found the best way to do this is to use flash cards and have your child identify emotions or stop a movie or show where a person’s face is showing anger, sadness, surprise, and have your child guess the emotion. You can also use scenarios at home with family members to model facial expressions. Likewise, to model facial expression and body language, have your child practice making faces in front of a mirror. 

Additionally, many autistic individuals have a hard time with social cues. My son stands too close to others in a social setting, but when they back up, he moves closer. We have tried social stories and visual aids to go over these situations at home, but he still has a long way to go until it becomes natural to give others personal space. But we keep trying!

4. The Power of Special Interests

If your child’s into dinosaurs, outer space, or crocheting hats for lizards (hey, it could happen!), connect them with other kids or groups that share common interests. When autistic people bond over shared passions, socializing becomes less of a chore and more of a “Yes, please, let’s talk about T-Rex teeth for three hours!” scenario. Libraries, community centers, and online forums can be gold mines for finding peers with similar interests. Plus, it’s a fantastic chance for you to learn more about T-Rexes than you ever thought you needed to know—fun family fact nights, anyone?

If your child loves physical activity, get them involved in team sports. While there are Challenger leagues available for special needs children and adults, sometimes you can find sports that are suitable for your child with neurotypical children. Our son has begun to play bocce with us. While there are a lot of loud noises, he seems to be doing well on the team.

5. Team Up with the Pros

Sometimes, the best strategy is to bring in the experts. Consider resources like MetroEHS Pediatric Therapy, which offers programs tailored to help children develop social, communication, and behavioral skills in a supportive environment. Working with therapists who specialize in autism can ease your child’s stress and boost their confidence. After all, a little professional guidance never hurt—especially when you’re on that roller-coaster ride we discussed earlier.

6. Celebrate Every Win

Finally, don’t forget to celebrate the small stuff. Maybe your child finally asked a new friend for a high-five, tried out new communication skills that they learned at home, or successfully introduced themselves to a classmate. Rather than waiting for some grand social debut, acknowledge every baby step along the way. Positive reinforcement can encourage them to keep practicing those new skills and show them that you’re in their corner, cheering them on like a proud, slightly teary-eyed sports parent.

The social side of life may not come quite as easily to your child, but you know what? They can connect, especially if you are there to help them along every step of the way! While my child’s friendships are not deep or lasting, he loves social situations and wants to be involved in activities. He doesn’t show much interest in having friends over, but he likes to gather with people. We keep trying to facilitate an emotional connection in a low pressure way. Hopefully some of these tips can help your autistic child make friends with others.