Tips for Dining Out with Autism

When you have a child with any type of disability there are things many people avoid. Malls, restaurants, birthday parties. But because our son with autism was child number five, and we had teenagers, we continued to do some of the difficult things because we were trying very hard to be a family. Now don’t get me wrong. There are things that we didn’t do. I stopped going to softball and soccer games because Jack-Jack would run on the field or take off toward the parking lot. However, we continued to go on many outings and we continued to dine out. Today I am giving you some dining out with autism tips to successfully eat out with a child on the spectrum.

Dining out opens up a world of opportunities. Jack-Jack is now 14 and rarely do we have problems in restaurants. But that wasn’t always the case. Dining out is so important because it helps to teach many life skills.

Preparing to Travel - Tips for Dining out with Autism

Reason to Work on Dining Out as a Life Skill:

  1. Freedom: You are going to get invited to places. You do not want to feel like a prisoner trapped at home. I know too many families that rarely go out because it is hard. Eating out happens frequently – birthday parties, weddings, travel and more are all possible when you have worked hard to help your child eat in public.
  2. New Opportunities: Dining out opens up a whole new world. Travel becomes possible. 
  3. Trying new foods: Jack-Jack never would have tried crab legs, crawfish or calamari because I would not have made them at home. But when you go out to eat, it becomes possible to try new foods and expand the range of foods your child eats.
  4. Making Choices: Ordering from a menu and making selections helps your child to learn how to make choices. 
  5. Patience: Sitting until dinner is over. At home, it becomes to easy to get up and walk around or stand while eating. At a restaurant, you learn to sit.
  6. Respect for Others: Learning to respect other people. Your child sees strangers next to them and sees how other people eat and interact. 
  7. Communication Skills: Interaction with the waitress/waiter help communication skills. Even if you order for your child, they witness the communication that happens and over time will learn that there is a familiar pattern to eating out (wait to be seated, read the menu, order food, wait for food, eat food, get the check, pay the check, dinner out is done).
  8. Travel: Unless you want to eat at fast food restaurants or make all your meals while you travel, you will want to work on dining out before you undertake a trip. I believe autism travel is so important to our children’s development. It is tiresome, but the benefits far outweigh the hardship.

Eating out with your autistic child

TIPS FOR DINING OUT WITH YOUR CHILD WITH AUTISM:

Start Small – Fast Food Restaurants:

If You have never gone out to eat Start with fast-food restaurants. If you have never even gone to a fast-food establishment, begin there or start with a local coffee or donut shop. Other ideas for starting out are an ice cream shop with seating, a hot dog shop, a neighborhood diner or pizza restaurant. 

Coffee Shop Date - Dining Out Autism

Chain Restaurants:

We would often eat at a chain restaurant when Jack-Jack was little because 1) There was less chance of knowing people, and 2) The restaurant was larger and our noise would blend in with everyone else.

Watch Videos Before You Go:

Watch Social Stories or Videos Online. While social stories are helpful, they do not give the child the same sensory feelings that actually occur while eating out. But I still feel they are helpful in preparing a child for the overall experience.

Lose Your Expectations:

Do Not Expect Perfection. Almost no child exhibits perfect behavior while in public. Learn to lower your expectations, especially for the first few times (or first few dozen times).

Know the Menu Beforehand:

Look Up the Menu Online. This is such an important tip for dining out with autism. Are there items on the menu that you know your child will eat? If not, the restaurant may still be accommodating. At our local Japanese Hibachi restaurant, they will prepare a chicken breast – no sauce, just a little butter, salt, pepper, no rice, no mixed veggies, just broccoli. No sauce on anything! 

Call Before You Go:

If You Have Food Allergies or Sensitivities, Call Ahead. Ask the following questions: Do you have a slow time of day or slower day of the week? If we call ahead, can we reserve a booth? Is there a waiter/waitress that will be patient with our situation?

Dining out in a fancy resaurant with autism

Plan to Dine at Non-Peak Times:

I cannot stress the importance of non-peak autism dining! Go after the lunch crowd or before the dinner crowd. My husband always worked later and we would have lunch at home around 2. Because we ate a late lunch, we could eat out for dinner at 7 or 8 after most of the crowds were gone.

Communicate What You are Trying to Accomplish:

Communicate with the hostess and/or waitstaff what you are trying to do. More and more restaurants are trying to accommodate the autism diner. Many times they will help to engage your child. Because we communicated Jack-Jack’s picky eating habits, most restaurants allowed him to order off the children’s menu even when he was passed their stated age. 

When Ordering Ask Plenty of Questions:

Be Specific when ordering: If your child screams at the site of a pickle, make sure to ask if there are pickles served with the meal. Ask about seasonings, sauces, and condiments when placing your order. Jack-Jack would scream when he saw ketchup on his plate. At the age of 14, he remained calm and we simply removed the container with the ketchup and wiped the little bit on his plate. It took 14 years to get to the place.

Seating Matters:

If your child tends to get up and down, booths will be your best friend. Sitting in a booth means you can contain your child in their seat. It also means they will have room to wiggle without knocking over their chairs.

Ask Nicely:

Don’t Demand – Request Instead. I hear and read stories about families that have “demanded” special treatment because they have a child on the spectrum. They want to skip lines or sit at a preferred location. Restaurant staff will be less accommodating if you demand instead of ask.

Take Helpers:

Take Other Adults with you. We had the benefit of having teen children that could help, but we all took turns walking outside restaurants and taking Jack-Jack to the bathroom for the millionth time. 

Be Respectful:

Be Respectful of the Other People Eating Out. Jack-Jack would be good for so many minutes, but when he was done, he was done. If we missed cues that he had reached his limit, he would start to scream. That meant we needed to take him for a walk or go outside immediately. Gradually, his tolerance for sitting increased, and he usually the last one done even in fancier restaurants. 

Get Rid of Your Expectations:

If you expect things to go smoothly, you will be disappointed. Dining out and autism don’t always mix well. Furthermore, it will take time. If you always go to the same restaurant, eventually your child will become accustomed to the noises, food, and wait staff. However, our goal is not to become acclimated to one restaurant. Therefore, it becomes important to go to different establishments.

Don’t Leave Home Without Your Arsenal:

Bring Snacks, Toys or Crayons. Some restaurants provide crayons. Jack-Jack would not color no matter how much we tried to coax him. He was rarely interested in the special menu that has games to play. It became too convenient to give him one of our phones to keep him quiet. I wish we hadn’t done that, but we were new to this and didn’t have the information we now have about the use of phones on the developing brain. 

Eating out with autism

Research Restaurants that are Autism Friendly

On our recent trip to Myrtle Beach we found a restaurant that is co-owned by a mom with an autism son. They are sensitive to the needs of the autism community and host special autism friendly experiences. More and more restaurants and businesses are becoming aware of the need to be open to the autism community.

Scan The Table for Potential Problems

Remove items from the table that will cause problems. Salt/pepper shakers, candles, table tents. We also made sure to remove the knife from the napkin at a steak restaurant.

You can dine out successfully, but it will take hard work and persistence. Hang in there, and keep practicing. It will be worth it in the long run!

 

Tips for Dining Out with An Autistic child

Dining Out with Autism

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