Sit up straight. We have to get math done. Why won’t you listen to me? Quit jumping around. Yes, I have said (or yelled) these phrases and more. I remember having bright-eyed, active children who were little sponges, and thankfully I didn’t squash their love of learning by my stupidity. As I reflect back on those early years, I have to admit there are a few things I wish I could redo.

I have been homeschooling a long time. We are starting on our 24th year. And I have learned a few things about teaching my children at home and helping others in their quest to teach their children. I am hoping what I share with you will help prevent some of my early mistakes.

10) TRYING TO RECREATE SCHOOL AT HOME

This was the hardest challenge for me to overcome. You see, I was a product of the school system. When my oldest was 6, I decided to homeschool. I bought a flag, sat down with my “Christian school” curriculum and teacher’s manuals and proceeded to do school at home. By day two, I knew something was wrong. I was not a teacher; I was a mom. It took me over a month to admit that I had made a major mistake. Choice number two wasn’t much better. In fact, it was a few years before I found what I had been looking for. (Please remember that this was pre-internet days). In those days, I had to wade through the annual curriculum fair to find what would work.

REMEMBER: You are homeschooling, not schooling at home. This should be a safe and secure environment where your children learn in the manner that is best for them.

9) COMPARING YOUR CHILDREN WITH OTHER CHILDREN (AND ALLOWING YOUR CHILDREN TO COMPARE THEMSELVES)

I not only compared my children with each other, but I compared my children with other people’s children. Jeffrey was excelling in history, but his younger brother wasn’t. Somebody else’s child was further ahead in math. My sister’s kids were reading and my weren’t. Family members would “question” my children to see if they were where they needed to be academically. I should have stopped this, but I was so intent on proving that homeschooling worked.

REMEMBER: Your children are unique. Homeschooling allows them to learn at their own pace.

8) SPEAKING NEGATIVELY ABOUT YOURSELF

I said things to myself that weren’t true. “I can’t do this.” “What if I mess up my children?” Funny how I never said that about the teachers my oldest son encountered in Kindergarten. I never said, “What if they mess up my child?” And even though I didn’t speak these things in front of my children, it showed in my demeanor. Look in the mirror today, and say, “I can do this.” “I love my child more than anyone else ever will, and I can teach her.” You got this momma!

REMEMBER: Your children see your attitude. Speak (and think) words that encourage you and your children!

7) USING THE POPULAR CHOICES FOR CURRICULUM or USING THE SAME CURRICULUM (AT THE SAME PACE) FOR EACH CHILD

Everyone is raving about a certain curriculum. For me it was “the popular” choice for math. It never worked for us, and in the beginning I lacked confidence to say, “this isn’t working.” I assumed that it was my fault it wasn’t working. If I was only more disciplined. So I kept at it. Finally, I found the courage to admit defeat and found a different math curriculum.

Every child learns differently. I have 5 children, and I have not used the same curriculum without modification for any of them. My oldest son would zip through reading, literature and history assignments. I added more to keep him challenged. Another son read much slower, but was a hands-on learner. I assigned less pages of reading, changed his math curriculum to a more challenging one, and allowed a more hands-on approach to learning. If I had demanded the exact same schedule for literature for both of them, one would have been bored, while the other would have been exasperated.

REMEMBER: The popular choice often means that company had the best marketing team, AND EACH CHILD LEARNS DIFFERENTLY

6) ALLOWING OTHERS TO THINK BECAUSE YOU ARE HOME, YOU ARE AVAILABLE FOR WHATEVER THEY NEED YOU FOR

I said yes way too often because the opportunities were good things. “Can you volunteer for. . .?” “Can you help with. . .?” “Since you are home, can you watch my child?” I became the person everyone called ALL THE TIME. I found that after saying no a few times, people stopped calling which allowed me to 1) Select the volunteer opportunities that fit my schedule, 2) Help the people that needed me the most (my husband and children), and 3) Allowed me to be a calmer, saner mom.

REMEMBER: Saying yes to good things may still be the wrong thing for you and your family.

5) TAKING ADVICE FROM OTHERS WITHOUT KNOWING THEIR STORY

I am pretty upfront about who I am, how long I have homeschooled, and where my children are now. My first year homeschooling I trusted someone who had older children, but I didn’t know where her children were spiritually or educationally. I didn’t find out for several years that her children were disrespectful to other adults, bullied children, and were only great kids with her sitting right in the room. I have read blogs of moms giving advice on curriculum and homeschooling with preschool children. In fact, I came across one blog where the woman gave advice about homeschooling, and it turns out her children were in school. Do you research before taking advice from others.

REMEMBER: Not all advisers are trustworthy

4) NOT TRUSTING YOUR MOMMA INSTINCTS

I have been there. Something is off. You know it, but everyone tells you not to worry. Whether it is spiritually, emotionally, physically or educationally, you are usually the one in tune with your child. If you think something needs to be checked out, rely on your instincts. My story was a simple one: My son was having a great year on his baseball team, hitting, catching, fielding, and then he had one bad game. One turned into several. My gut said it was his vision. The eye doctor said he didn’t “need” glasses yet because his eyesight wasn’t that bad. I insisted on getting the glasses, which immediately made a difference. I have had similar stories when it comes to homeschooling too! Wrong curriculum. Wrong learning styles. Wrong directions. If your child is having trouble with an area of learning, TRUST YOUR GUT!

REMEMBER: Listen to yourself

3) BELIEVING THAT IF YOUR CHILD STUDIES AND WORKS HARD, THEY WILL UNDERSTAND THE INFORMATION

Have you ever learned something, but didn’t really understand it? Have you ever had an “AHA MOMENT” years later where what you “learned” finally makes sense? I was a A-B student myself. I excelled in many areas in school, but I hated History and English. I was still able to get a B in those classes, but I felt like I just memorized information for a test. I could tell you what an adverb was by definition, but years later teaching my two oldest children about adverbs I had that AHA MOMENT. It was if a light bulb suddenly switched on, and now I really understood adverbs. I was so excited to finally fully comprehend this information. So remember, sometimes a child “reads and retains” information without understanding. Sometimes the understanding comes later. 

REMEMBER: Retaining facts is not the same as understanding

2) THINKING THAT THE CURRICULUM WILL TEACH

Sometimes when schooling we put all our hope and faith in a curriculum to teach our child. We read great reviews, and the curriculum has won awards. So why isn’t it working for little Johnny? Your little child is a unique individual with learning styles all their own. We cannot even begin to understand the human brain, must less create a one-size-fits-all curriculum. Learning to tweak and adjust to your child is imperative in this venture we call homeschooling. 

REMEMBER: Even good curriculum may not be the answer, and sometimes the answer can only be found by seeking God.

 

1) FORGETTING TO TRUST IN THE CREATOR

I get it. You are so busy caring for those little ones that sometimes you think you have to do it all. Trust me on this one – Trusting God with all of the above will go so much further in raising your children than anything else. There is not a curriculum, method or planner that will help and guide you more than Lord of Lords.

REMEMBER: God has created your child for a unique purpose. Trust in Him to teach and guide you while you teach and guide your child.

John 16:38 When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.

Until Next Time,

Patty @ A Mother’s Random Thoughts