FINDING THE JOY IN AUTISM

SHIFTING YOUR FOCUS

They told me that I would miss the fingerprints on the windows and dirty footprints all over the floor. I was told that when they grow up you miss reading picture books, Saturday morning snuggles, butterfly kisses, and having a little one crawl in your bed at 2 am. So as I was raising my babies and toddlers, I set my mind on the “someday this will be just a memory,” and accepted the chaos and crazy. I lived in the moment. Those fingerprints, endless picture books, and little ones crawling in my bed would soon be gone. But nobody could have ever prepared me for what really happened. How would I find joy in autism? How would I find joy if a child never leaves home?

WHAT WE DON’T TALK ABOUT

We don’t talk about a lot with autism, special needs or children with disabilities. Nobody told me about the possibility of the fingerprints never-ending. I couldn’t anticipate how I would feel faced with a lifetime of fingerprints on the window. I wasn’t prepared for my thoughts when I realized that my future could be a lifetime of diapers. And when I walked into a room and said his name, I felt helpless with the silence. No one was preparing me for thinking “what if my child needs to be put in an institution,” and when those thoughts come it crushes your soul. This is my child. My baby that I nursed and loved, and he looked perfect. In fact, that is the hardest part. Your child looks perfect. Is it possible that this 10 finger, 10 toe, no defect child is less than perfect?

What is a perfect child?

When I look at man’s definition of perfect: being entirely without fault or defect; flawless,” I will always be disappointed. All of my children may “look perfect,” but all of them are sinners. All of my children have “disappointed” me in some manner, and I have failed to live up to their expectations as a mother at times.

The meaning of perfection in the Bible relates to a state of completeness or absolute wholeness. Biblical perfection involves freedom from fault, defect, or shortcoming. I cannot live up to God’s state of perfection apart from Christ. It is Jesus Christ’s death on the cross, the shed blood, that completes me. And it is that same death on the cross that makes my children whole.

Your Child is Perfectly Created

When I look at perfection through the eyes of God, I can see my child created and made whole through God. I can see that “less than perfect” human fulfilling God’s destiny. As I look at my child that may not ever leave home, and I see a child that will need reminders to bathe, feed himself, and take care of basic needs, I can look beyond man’s definition of perfect. When I look and see what God sees, I see the Holy Spirit in him creating an atmosphere of joy around him. I can see others responding to that joy in a way that is entirely of God. I cannot teach my child this type of joy or love for others.

When I allow the Holy Spirit to guide my child, he looks as close to God’s perfection as possible. And when I apply those same ideas and thoughts to my other children, I begin to see the Holy Spirit guide their lives too.

What I have learned by looking for Joy in Autism

Having a child with autism has enabled me to be a better parent to all of my children. God gave me something that I couldn’t fix which gave me two options. 1) Being bitter and angry. I could choose to stay in a place of anger. Furthermore, I could look at things and say “Why Me?” I could continue to cry every day and never see the good in life. or 2) I could turn to God and allow Him to change me.

Sometimes the solution to a problem isn’t fixing the problem, but changing your heart attitude and shifting the atmosphere. It is in that shift that the greatest joy and growth will come. And that shift will take you higher than you ever dreamed possible.

#ShiftYourFocus #ShiftTheAtmosphere