|The family (minus our newest additions)|
Finding your place and your voice is a journey. Too often moms are content playing “hero support” because we are helping others. But how can we really help others without helping ourselves first? When you are traveling in an airplane, the safety instructions always insist that you put on your own air before attending to small children. How often do we as mothers “give oxygen to others” before making sure we can breath?
As a Christian I was taught that by serving others, we serve Christ. And I believe that wholeheartedly, but even Jesus took some time away from others to rest and pray. As a Christian I believed that taking time for myself only meant reading my bible and praying. I have slowly learned that rejuvenation comes in many forms. For me that means going for coffee to clear my head, blogging, and finding my “voice.” For you it may look different, but it is vital to find you.
If you take away nothing else from this post, please learn the following:
Your family needs you, and they will always need you, but they need you sane and healthy. I know that it seems like you don’t have the time to put on your own oxygen, but let me assure you that only by breathing, can you help others to breath.
I understand your frustration, your confusion and your loneliness. I understand that in serving others, you are tired and weary. I understand that sometimes all you need is someone to acknowledge that what you are doing matters, but I also understand that if you completely lose your voice, you slowly drown.
I know that after months and years of taking care of others, you question if anyone even notices you. I have said the phrase, “but there is nobody to take care of me,” and I have heard you say it too. The funny thing is NOBODY told me that I couldn’t have time away; nobody stopped me from getting some time to myself. I enjoyed being with my family and didn’t want to miss anything. I wanted to be there for every event, every dinner, every conversation. But sometimes I need to clear my head, and when I do take time for myself, nobody resents me. In fact, sometimes I think they are happy to spend some time without me.
Find something you love and do it with great passion. Take time to laugh, love, and enjoy life because (and I know it is so cliché) they will be grown before you know it, and you will have forgotten who you are.
A Momma Who Took Way Too Long to Learn This Lesson