It seems like just yesterday that I did the last Mommy Reality Challenge. My life has certainly taken a strange twist in the past week, but I will talk more about that in another post. As I sit here typing this, life continues to happen all around me. My friends, Celeste from Leap Frog and Lipgloss and Jen from Jenerally Informed are always busy trying to come up with the latest challenge to keep you laughing at the everyday absurdity of life.
Today, we are being asked to consider and choose an evil nemesis. After careful consideration I have chosen several contenders for the top spot. These bad guys plague most mothers on a regular basis.
Here is a list of bad guys who are in the running in no particular order:
1) LONE SOCK AND MR. HEAP OF SOCKS – This dastardly pair never ceases to amaze me. I pair all the socks in the entire household and then each week as I wash clothes the single ugly rider, Lone Sock, is thrown into a basket. Each week the contents of the basket grows until Mr. Heap of Socks is created. Eventually when we finally have no pair of socks left, the cycle starts all over again. I have met these unpleasant forces over and over again in my lifetime. I am sure there is some superpower that can be utilized to prevent myself from ever having to meet these two again, but either I am too lazy or busy to explore any solutions to these villains.
NOTE: Once while conquering Mr. Heap of Socks I realized that there was a resistant Lone Sock that had been in the basket for over 7 years. When considering this fact I determined that it is necessary to pitch all the Lone Socks periodically or Mr. Heap of Socks will grow into Mr. Mountain of Socks. I have met the Mountain, conquered it, but still fear ever meeting it again.
2) THE REFRIGERATOR – I feed this corrupt and evil beast each week and while we eat the majority of what we put in, there is far too much that doesn’t get taken out. Eventually those single serve containers accumulate into something that looks like the inner workings of an evil scientist lab. Only by donning my special gloves, goggles and lab coat and grabbing my trusty garbage bag to begin the purge of The Refrigerator can I begin to meet this villain head-on.
3) PILE OF PAPERS – This adversary is the trickiest of all. He begins by coming inside your house in small amounts. A most dangerous foe he multiples quickly. Sometimes he disguises himself as important papers, but mostly he is just junk! I get the mail and the bills are put in a certain area, but the junk mail use to accumulate. I thought the solution to fighting this was to immediately throw out all junk mail, but even with this tactic, I have found that Pile of Papers still rears his ugly head. I have known others who have faced this nemesis by putting all papers into brown grocery store bags and labeling them by date. Others have used the Kryptonite Clothing Basket method of elimination which results in his powers being drained. However, the clothing baskets need to be buried in sealed lead caskets. For this solution plenty of land is necessary to dispose of the baskets.
4) DIRTY DISHES – While this wicked opponent seems to be easy to conquer, any number of things can cause an overabundance. One dirty glass in the sink seems harmless, but when he calls all his friends together for a party, this becomes a monumental enemy. If he is left to sit long enough, he then develops a host of other problems that only soaking and scrubbing can tackle. In addition, he creates another nefarious enemy of mine, Dirty Sink.
5) GARBAGE GREMLIN – This deadly gargantuan is lurking everywhere! He can be found on the table, in the refrigerator, on the counters, the kids room, the bathroom and even your car. Just when you get him all collected, he sits lurking in a black plastic bag just waiting to slither his way out of the bag and onto your floor or sit in the bottom of the garbage can attracting vermin. He reminds me of one of my all time hated movies – THE BLOB!!!!
Along with the vermin he can create an even more powerful nemesis — maggots! Garbage Gremlin is a little like Pile of Papers, but while papers won’t smell, Garbage most certainly does. The longer Garbage is left to his own devices, the worse he becomes.
These are my top 5 for My Evil Nemesis – Vote for your favorite in the comments below. If you have an evil nemesis feel free to join the Mommy Reality Challenge.